I think we can all agree that Disney is the biggest perpetrator here. Not only do they inflame the need for a picture perfect, marriage-based relationship (between a man and a woman…or in some cases some animals of various sorts) from an early age, but they also make little girls believe that they may secretly be princesses (let down #2).

With that said (and I do think it differs between men and women here) I *do* want to have a family one day, and I wouldn’t want to bring a child into the world without a husband for support. So although I’m only 26, the clock is somewhat ticking in the sense that I *would* like to have a family someday.

I look forward to reading more of your posts.

Sorry, I must have missed your post on my first read, replying now

Love that expression, pragmatic love. You make a good point my friend, when we have low expectations (or none at all), we can be surprised. You know what’s so great about this? That if we focus on being happy on our own, we feel great. And then, if we’re surprised, we’re happy too! It’s a no brainer.

@Akirah

Glad to have helped you in some way. Again, embrace randomness and be happy on your own. The rest is just part of the game.

It’s not about planning to get married. It’s about expecting it. And for what you’re telling me, they are expecting it. It doesn’t matter how much you put it off, you’re still convinced that it HAS to happen.

this is not about why people marry more or less, this is about what people think they will get in life.

Player dad, now I get it Don’t worry, my dad’s the same. Nice thoughts bro.

@Greg

Agreed. We shouldn’t expect it, nor we shouldn’t wait. Taking action is very important, but as long as we understand that it’s ok if maybe we don’t end up with our desired results. That’s what luck is all about.

@Norcross

Absolutely, you need peace of mindin order to bring it to the relationship. Understanding what’s up to you and what’s not, is a good way to begin.

@Positively Present

Great decision!

@Baker

Before marriage, during marriage, after marriage. As Andrew says, happiness changes, and that’s ok. Growing is more important.

@Grace

Oh, the common achievements! They are everywhere, ignoring them is a wise choice. I’m with you my friend, being “alone” does not mean being “unhappy.” In fact, I’m pretty sure it can be quite the opposite.

@Elisa

Totally correct. Also, I’d add the fear of being alone, as if it was supposed to be “worse.” If you can’t be happy alone, I’m doubtful that you can be happy with someone else.

Player dad, now I get it Don’t worry, my dad’s the same. Nice thoughts bro.

@Greg

Agreed. We shouldn’t expect it, nor we shouldn’t wait. Taking action is very important, but as long as we understand that it’s ok if maybe we don’t end up with our desired results. That’s what luck is all about.

I think the opposite might be happening. People seem to keep putting marriage off, longer and longer, always thinking that maybe someone better and more perfect will come along. I feel this same sentiment applies to business opportunities and jobs as well. Commitment is getting harder because people have so many great choices.

This is particularly true in Japan, where many, maybe most, woman are no longer willing to sacrifice their careers and lower their standards for marriage. My wife has a couple of friends waiting for a handsome doctor to sweep them off their feet and ride off into the sunset on a white horse with romantic music playing in the background. Needless to say, they are in their 40s and still single.

I especially like the last line: “Otherwise you’ll get stuck with the other half looking to settle, and not the half looking for you.” I think what happens a lot when people get “stuck settling” they don’t necessarily do it because they are being told they have to or because it’s easier. Sure, that’s part of it, but the driving force behind conformity is fear. In this case, fear of missing out. Fear of going against the expected path. And most importantly fear of being alone. What scares ME is how much those fears lead people to miss out of what should be an amazing experience. And we wonder why the divorce rate keeps creeping higher and higher….