Fortune Salutes Gen Y

Fortune takes aim at Gen Y and profiles more than 40 twenty-somethings (most of them early twenty-somethings) who have very, ahem, grown-up jobs. It's heartening to see a little positive media coverage for what seems to be the favorite whipping boy generation these days. Check it out. It's inspiring, even to a fellow twenty-something!

No Accidental Business

I never thought I’d run an IT company in a million years. It was further from my mind as a career option than pursuing medicine or flying airplanes. OK, maybe not airplanes. At any rate, my little IT consultancy began by chance.

Over the past four years or so I have been involved in the Internet in some way or other. My first position out of college was as an administrative assistant for a start-up magazine. I was quickly promoted to editorial assistant to associate editor, and when I left I was the director of new media, which basically means I was running anything and everything to do with our website. I loved it. I dove in headlong. Somehow or other, I’ve become a go-to person for all things computer-related at my workplaces. For some reason, computers, programs, etc. have just always made sense to me.

It seems like the Internet, computers and web design was the perfect area for me. It is always changing, rarely boring and there’s always something new to learn. I love that it’s fast-paced and that I can find a bunch of nerds like me, much nerdier than me, to clue me into what’s up-and-coming and how to do things I don’t know how to do yet.

So, when a friend asked if I she could hire me to replace a computer guy that wasn’t really working out, I agreed enthusiastically. As I worked with her to teach her some basic computer skills, showed her around the Internet and advised her on purchases, I realized how many other people were in her situation, especially women, especially older women. Thus, a business was born.

As my company grew (and continues to grow) rapidly, I realized that without some direction, it could grow in ways I don’t want it to. I have begun to acquire new business and with that I am beginning to contract parts of that work out. While I’m still kind of far away from hiring employees in my mind, who knows what might happen? What happens if things take off and I don’t have a plan in place to direct growth? My greatest fear is that five years will go by, and I’ll be working 80 hours a week because I didn’t have a plan in place for working my way out of my business. After all, the point is to work on a business, not in it.

So here’s what I did. I took a page from E-Myth Revisited by Michael Gerber and set up what he calls an Organizational Strategy. This is a little different from job descriptions and workflow. These are the positions that need to be filled for the business that I will be filling until I hire people to fill them. As I hire and train people into the positions, I will stair step my way up and out of the company altogether eventually. This is an exit strategy. For my particular company, the structure looks like this:



I’m already contracting work to a designer/programmer on an as-needed basis. The technician position will be critical to growing the private client side of the business, and will be the next one I begin contracting out.

It’s important that I point out there that I am working in all of these positions currently. This way I know what it takes to fill them, all of the little intricacies involved in the positions, and I will be better able to train the people who fill them when that time comes. Gerber has a lot to say about exactly how to do this, and as I feel my way through this in the coming weeks, I’m sure I’ll be writing about it a lot.

Growth should never be a problem and exponential growth should always be expected. Don’t let your company stay an accident – make a plan now for when that growth does happen so that you won’t be scrambling to throw something together while also trying to handle all of your new business. You’ll have your hands full enough. Trust me.

Prepare to Stay Ahead

There has been some major backsliding going on in my life the past three or four weeks. Let’s just say some slacking has occurred… it’s like cancer. It started in one area of my life and spread quickly to the others. Part of this can be blamed on tragedy and illness, but that crutch has gotten old. It’s time to throw out the excuses and get things back on track now.

Sleep
I used to be the Queen of Good Rest. I always slept well and for the optimal time. I guarded my sleep schedule like it was Fort Knox. I defended it and nurtured it. It’s as if I’ve spent the past month beating the shit out of it and calling it a Bad Kid. It hates me now and acts like an angry toddler. When I do give myself the time to get a good night’s rest, I have problems either falling asleep or staying asleep. When I wake up, I don’t feel refreshed. I feel more tired. Last night I slept for 9 hours to make up for the 5 ½ hour sleep cycles I’ve been doing. I feel less awake. People even say I look tired. I need to get back on a schedule. I’m sure it has to do with the fact that it’s been erratic.

Diet
I’ve lost three more pounds. Most women would be excited by this. I am not. This has nothing to do with healthy weight loss – I’m not eating right. And I’m running distance. As a distance runner, weight loss is your enemy (after a certain point anyways). I am usually vigilant about my diet – 6 or 7 small, regimented meals per day. I make sure I eat enough protein, iron, dairy and good carbs. Lately, I’ve been skipping meals, not really eating anything healthy, etc. I can feel how awful it is for me. Eating well takes time. You need to get to the grocery regularly for fresh produce and plan your meals ahead if you have a jam-packed day like I do.

Running/exercise
I run four days a week like it’s my religion. Since everything happened last month, I have seriously slacked. It’s Thursday and I haven’t run at all this week. Now, this is serious business. I have a 5K and a relay marathon to run in May. I’m not where I need to be. Aside from that, running is my release. I feel energized and empowered when I’m done with a good run. I particularly enjoy the time I spend outside doing it. It’s relaxing. Skimping on this area of my life does exponential harm to me; it kills my relaxation and my health.

Budget
Ugh. To be fair, I’ve lost 18 pounds since I got sober. The first five came off right away (I was a beer drinker – muy fattening). The rest I lost in the past 5 months or so through the combination of a healthy diet and running. So, I’m down a few sizes in almost everything, especially work clothes. That’s where I’m blowing my money. I’m close to overdrafting my bank account, and that is a place I really hate to be.

General cleanliness
Please step away from the apartment, miss. Really, things are pretty messy on the home front. I’m never in my apartment and since I am moving next weekend, I decided not to worry about doing much until then. Really, all I’ve done is create more work for myself when I start packing. The car is in pretty bad shape too – a cleaning inside and out is definitely in order.

Tardiness
Running around at break-neck speed has caused me to forget just about everything. (Hello? I brought my running clothes, but left my sneakers. Is anyone home?) I am sleeping as late as I can, and thus making it to work perpetually 15 minutes late, which causes me to leave 15 minutes late, throwing my entire schedule into chaos. That does not look good to the boss either. And, let’s face it, tardiness is tacky.

The Solution
The best people in my life always tell me to get out of the problem and into the solution. Having defined the problem, I know how to tackle it. One of my major problems has been budgeting time for preparation. Most of the things above can be eliminated if I will simply slow down and take the time to prepare for them.

I need to prepare my food for the next day. I need to get my bag of running gear together the night before. I have to take the time to sit down with monthly bills twice a month and look at how much I can afford to spend on clothes, etc. I need to spend just 10 little minutes cleaning up when I get home instead of falling onto the couch with the laptop for an hour. And finally, I need to guard my sleep schedule like it was the Most Precious and Dear Thing on the Earth again.

Budget Advice from a Tech Lusting Entry Level Worker

I am an Early Adopter caught in the salary of an entry level worker. It is an unfortunate state of affairs when you – who subscribes to TechCrunch, an avid reader of Robert Scoble and Guy Kawasaki, the only person you know with a feed aggregator, the only one in her town who seems to know that mobile Web is the new black – must idly watch lesser (informed) men purchase and make scanty use of technology.

It is a sad state indeed. However, I’m not one to sit around and feel sorry for herself. As Jay-Z says, I’m like water. Throw up a blockade and I’ll find a way around it. I have a method for determining which things, whether they are little- or big-ticket items, can or should be purchased.

The List(s)
Now, this is not a glamorous thing, to be sure, but I’m a realist. A comforter that costs 200 dollars has to be saved up for, just like an iPhone, on my budget. Thus, it must be determined how badly I want that comforter or duvet or whatever, and what priority it falls into. After all, we’re working with a limited amount of cash here.

Here’s how it works. I keep a list in my planner, the one thing I’m certain to look at repeatedly throughout the day. At the top it says “Things Holly Wants.” Right now, it looks like this:

King-size comforter: $100
iPod set for car: $25
Tea kettle: $20
Running shoes: $85-100
Domain & hosting: $60
Running shorts: $30
Desk: $150-250
SIGG water bottle: $25

These are fairly practical items for the most part. As I purchase them or concede that I don’t really need or want them and that the desire for an espresso grinder was misguided, then I strike them out. Some of them are smaller ticket items, and the reason I put these on here is not so I can save for them (I’m not that bad off), but so that I don’t blow 20-30 dollars here and there on crap I don’t need or won’t use (I’m not that well off).

Now, for major technology-related purchase, I keep a list called “Things Holly Would Really Like.” It looks like this:

MacBook Pro
iPhone (V2 out in June)
Wireless keyboard/mouse
Dual monitors
Adobe Creative Suite
iPod portable speakers/docking station

Note that nothing on that list is crossed out. Yeah. I’ve had that list for about three months now. It’s going to take some time to save up for those items. Also, with purchases of that size and nature, the exact specs change with the more research I do on them. I also have a terrible case of Tech Lust, so it’s good for me to see these things written on paper so that I can be a little more practical about it.

Buyer Be Wary
I recently read on Ben Overmyer’s blog that he was feeling some peer pressure to purchase an iPod Touch, which he pretty much says he doesn’t need and won’t use. Don’t let your friends pressure you into buying something that they need or want. What’s good for one person is a waste of money for another. I consult with clients for my IT business on electronic purchases and often stair-step them up to what they think they want. For example, one client wants an iPod, but doesn’t use iTunes or have music on her computer. First things first, let’s get you where you can use it. I wanted a MacBook Air until I saw what Guy Kawasaki had to do to his. It’s just not meant for people like me.

The key concept here is that you first determine what you need, what you need it for, and how high a priority it is for you first. Then make your purchase. So often we see something and buy it, then try to justify after the fact. That’s shoddy logic and a waste of your hard-earned money.

Your #1 Productivity Killer - Sickness

Meetings, e-mail alerts, busy work… these are the most frequently addressed productivity killers. I have read books and found work-arounds for all of them. What I can’t get around, what kills my productivity more than any form of corporate red tape is getting sick. Ironically, this seems to be the one productivity killer I can’t find a book on. Americans seem bound and determined to a.) not take care of themselves, and then b.) attempt to keep working, thereby dragging out their illness and spreading it around. This exponentially decreases productivity.

Two weeks ago, I got a sinus infection. This is a fairly common occurrence for me, given my allergies. What I should’ve done was take a break, get some decent sleep, watch my diet, hydrate more than usual, and get some good sleep. What I did instead was continue a ridiculously busy schedule and pay no attention to any of the afore-mentioned factors. Each day my sinus infection was compounded by the loss of sleep it brought. With no time in my schedule to make it up, I was blessed with a raging case of laryngitis.

Because I wouldn’t take two or three days to run at a slower-than-usual pace, I lost a good two weeks of productivity. I ran at my bare minimum, calling into work twice because of how sick I was. When I was at work, I was unfocused, tired and probably spreading some major germ action. My appearance was tired, messy and unkempt. My ‘give a crap’ was busted. I lost my voice for two or three days entirely, and only recently got my voice back (I’ve been borrowing Kathleen Turner’s voice for the past 10 days).

I took a few lessons away from this. These are pretty basic, but it’s amazing how glaring they can become when you’re completely wiped out for a few weeks.

Heed the Warning Signs
Given that I attended two funerals for people I cared about very much within one week of the other, I should’ve taken some steps to guard against illness. The mind-body connection is amazingly strong, and stress can and will take you down with the ship. When your life gets stressful, treat yourself better than usual. I’m not talking about an extra glass of wine; I mean you should take it easy on yourself. Get rid of the things in your schedule that aren’t essential and crucial and get some rest.

Watch Your Diet
What you eat is the fuel that you provide your body to keep you going. Treat your body like a Porsche. Are you going to put regular gas in that bad boy? I didn’t think so. You’re going premium all the way. It ought to be the same way with your diet, especially when you’re sick. Think about what’s going to help you get better and make a conscious effort to supplement your diet with the things you’ll need to ward off prolonged illness. Get some protein, eat dark green veggies, and for heaven’s sake, eat some oranges. The worst thing you can do is stop eating. You give your body nothing to use as defense and it will only get worse.

Hit the Hay
Your body is going to need more time to recharge than usual. If you are used to sleeping 6-7 hours every night, you’re going to have to make time to get more in order to get well. I also find naps help me get better faster. When I’m not feeling well, I’ll get home from work and snooze for a good 90 minutes. I find this is long enough to be effective and short enough to not ruin my regular bedtime.

Get a Little Exercise
Don’t go running any 10Ks, but do a little bit of exercise if you are physically able when you feel something coming on or are coming out of being sick. Some exertion will boost your immune system and help you feel well faster. Don’t take up anything new while you're sick; just do whatever you usually do at about half the time or pace. For me, this has taken the form of a light jog because I am already a regular runner. If I can exercise when I feel something coming on, it usually wards it off. When I do get sick, then as soon as I get over the hump I try to do a little something to boost my immune system again.

Cut Yourself Some Slack
Highly motivated people are usually their own worst critics. Beating yourself up mentally when you’re sick is counterproductive (as a matter of fact, it’s usually counterproductive, but that’s another post). Take this time to go easy on yourself. Again, that mind-body connection is strong and it is real. Stressing yourself out is going to make you sicker, longer.

Young, Professional, Alcoholic

I’m an alcoholic. Seriously. I am a 26-year-old, middle-class, young professional… alcoholic.

I’d debated whether or not to publish this, but it’s a big part of who I am and how I got where I am today. I’m lucky. Most people don’t figure it out at my age. Most people take 20 years to ruin their lives. I took just four.

What It Used to Be Like
I was 14 the first time I drank. I didn’t get drunk, not because I didn’t want to, but because I couldn’t. There wasn’t any more Kahlua. A few months later at a friend’s house party, I did not have that problem. I got tanked. And it was glorious. I think. I don’t really remember. I do know I was in an awful lot of trouble when my mom picked me up and I puked out of her car window. The hangover was fierce, and my parents felt like that was punishment enough. That and the whole summer grounded.

I never really drank normally I guess. I always liked getting drunk. What was the point of a drink or two? That just built a nice base to work off of, a starting point really, a warm up. I used to joke that when I drank it was both a sprint and a marathon – get drunk fast and stay drunk longest. I could drink any guy under the table. The truth was most people gave up long before me and I was the one who ended up under the table.

In January 2007, barely 25 years old, I went into the doctor and found out that I had drank so hard the night before that both my kidneys were infected, so much so that my doctor said if I had waited a few more hours she would have me in the ER on IV fluids. This did not set off any bells in my head, nor in my doctor’s since I told her that I consumed 5-to-7 drinks per week. No reason to alarm anyone, after all.

There was nothing strange about my drinking to me, and there was nothing strange about the lying I did to cover it up either. I really didn’t think about it. There were always lots of people around me. I didn’t drink alone or everyday, and I didn’t live under a bridge. I was just a 25 year old, going to bars with my friends. So what if I drank a lot? It’s not a crime. It’s what I like to do. Who doesn’t?

What Happened
‘I’m not going to drink,’ I told myself that morning. ‘I don’t want to leave Pensacola and my dad drinking like they do.’ I couldn’t stop myself though. ‘What’s a beer before I get on the plane?’ I rationalized. Deathly afraid of flying, I have two beers and two pills on the plane. That ought to calm the nerves.

It didn’t. It wasn’t working anymore. I had just started using the pill-and-drink combo to make both work a little better, a little faster, but it wasn’t working at all. I was still scared, scared as all hell. The burly flight attendant asks me if I’m OK. My eyes fill with tears and I order another beer.

By the time I land home I’m in a blackout. I don’t remember much, but I do know that I convinced my ride from the airport to go out to a bar at 4 pm instead of home to my boyfriend whom I hadn’t seen in a week. She never even knew I was drunk. That’s how good (or bad) I’d gotten. People usually couldn’t tell I was drunk, and I’d be in a blackout.

When I get home around 9 pm (for those who are keeping track, I’ve been drinking for 10 hours at this point, not uncommon for vacations), the lights are low and the TV’s off. My boyfriend of four years is sitting on the couch quietly, resolvedly. Jig’s up, I think. He says simply, I’m not doing this anymore. We talk calmly; this was coming, after all. I don’t remember much of it.

I wake up with blinding light streaming through the windows. I have the usual what-did-I-do-last-night greeting from my guilty conscience. It floods back with a wave of nausea. I hit my car on a concrete wall before I drove home. We broke up. I have to move out.

I stare at the ceiling. “My own personal rock bottom,” I say out loud to the ceiling. I know where I’m going.

You see, no one wanted me to be an alcoholic. For the past year, it had been pretty bad. “Do you think I’m an alcoholic?” I would ask my friends, boyfriend, family members. “No, you just need to learn how to have one or two,” they all said. I would try to explain to them that I wasn’t sure I could do that or would want to do that. I tried to tell them it was like a light switch without an off option. Once it was on, it was on. No one understood.

What It’s Like Now
That morning was April 11, 2007. I haven’t had a drink of alcohol or any drugs since. I found a 12-step program and was in a meeting by noon that day. The people I found there were essential to my recovery. I have no doubt that it was they and that program that saved my life, and continue to save it on a daily basis.

It wasn’t easy. There were days I didn’t feel like I could make it. There were days where I wanted to kill myself, where I wanted to lay in bed and never get out, days I thought would never end. There were the memories of terrible actions I thought I’d never live down, and relationships I thought I would never be able to mend. I’ve done both.

I lost my job 10 days into recovery. Two hours later, my car exploded in an irreparable fashion. I had moved out of our townhouse. My boyfriend and I were no longer speaking and I was alone.

Six weeks later I had a new job, a new car, more friends than I could shake a stick at, and a new relationship (uh, not a good idea by the way… but that’s a different story).

I have learned a lifetime’s worth of lessons in the past year or so. I look back at where I was then and I marvel at where I am today. I believe it was grace that allowed me to have that moment of clarity on the morning of April 11, 2007. Nothing was more obvious to me that morning than the fact that I had a problem and needed more help than I knew how to get.

Today, I have a job that pays slightly more than the one I had then. I work at a café part-time for the pleasure of it and to learn the trade I hope to one day make a dream-come-true – owning my own café. I have started two small companies, one of which earns me a decent profit. I am well on my way to owning my own home later this year. I have begun to repair my credit and repay my debt. I love being single and have had the opportunity to date a (small) handful of amazing men. I have the best friends in the whole world, and I am told that I am a much better friend today. I would never have dared to dream this big in my drinking days. I would never have cared if I were an honest-to-god good friend. I do today.

I am a better person for being an alcoholic. My mom once told me that having my sister at age 17 saved her life. I couldn’t really understand what she meant until I admitted to my alcoholism in a room full of people. I wonder if I would be the person I am or would have accomplished the things I have if it weren’t for that life-altering admission. I think we both know the answer to that one.

You Can Land a Job, But You Can't Land a Man: Successful Women Remain Single

An article caught my eye earlier this week on MSN about the (apparent) amplitude of single, successful women who (gasp) may never find a man.

The article sites the following as the major obstacles these women are facing:
1. They want someone as successful as they are
2. Little time leftover for dating after work and other priorities

But there is one that stands out as the bigger issue:
3. They simply intimidate their male counterparts

I recently had a conversation with Guy I’ve Been Seeing about this very thing. I’m not exactly your prototypical hard-as-nails businesswoman. I don’t think they’ve existed since the ‘80s and the days of mandatory hosiery in the office, so let’s just kill that stereotype now. I am, however, very driven and motivated, like so many of my fellow successful Gen Y females.

Since high school, my intelligence and my inability to hide behind a pretty, artificially dumbed-down exterior has gotten in the way of my love life. I began to notice the trend in college, when one of my friends pointed out to me that guys were probably just intimidated by me. Me? I asked. I’m 5’ 3”, a buck-nothing. How is that intimidating? A boyfriend confirmed the theory. “You’ve always intimidated me,” he said. “You’re smart, but in a business way that I’m not.”

GIBS couldn’t believe this. “You? Intimidating? How?” he said. I explained to him about how most guys (I’m speaking from experience now) would rather have someone who is a little less complicated, a little easier, with a little more time on their hands… in essence, they would rather be the alpha. I don’t work well with that. I don’t like being the alpha either, though.

That’s where the real problems start to happen. It’s a difficult balance to find – a guy that challenges you would have to be at your level in some sense, pursuing his own goals, career, and success, who is also supportive of your success, and who is looking for that type of woman. Not to mention all the other little stuff people like in relationships, like compatibility, shared values and common interests, etc.

That’s not to say I haven’t had boyfriends. Up until the past year, I was in a string of long-term relationships since high school. The problem was that the guys I ended up with simply didn’t have the cojones to challenge me the way I needed to be back then. I’ve finally learned how to challenge myself, but I think I’d still like someone who is working on achieving his own big dreams and goals.

So, now here I am at 26, single for the first time since college and I’m being given a fairly bleak outlook. The more successful I become, the harder it’s going to be to connect.

But see, I don’t think these women are sitting around at home, crying into their Chardonnay about it. I think the article totally misses the point. These women aren’t willing to settle for anything less than what they want because the lesson their success has taught them is that they can achieve great things in spite of the odds. They are Whole People who aren’t okay with accepting anything less than another Whole Person.

Speaking for myself, I have accepted the idea that I could possibly never be married. Some people might say that this is a self-fulfilling prophecy. I don’t think it is. Fifty percent of all marriages in divorce, remember? A very small fraction of married folk believe their marriage could in divorce. Who’s fooling whom here? If I can be okay with being single for potentially the rest of my life, then I am not going to wait around to do things. I’m going to charge full force. And somewhere out there, there is a guy who thinks that’s hot. He’s the guy for me.

Dashing My Remote Working Dreams

I recently read (or actually listened to) “The Four-Hour Work Week,” which is pretty much about how you need very little time to complete your work if you use the author’s productivity methods and outsourcing. Fascinating. Doable, I thought. So, I started trying out some of the methods at my current 8-5 gig. Let me just let you in on a few of the blunders I committed and obstacles I ran into that I didn’t hear anything about in the book.

Auto-Reply Blunders
The first thing I did was institute the auto-reply method. I won’t go into it here, but I did blog about it last week. I made a blanket auto-reply message that bounced back to anybody (and everybody it turned out) who e-mailed me. Including my boss. Including his boss.

It worked like a charm until I realized that I had gotten an e-mail from my boss’s boss. Now, this would normally be a good thing. This means that my role is important enough to be receiving requests directly from the Big Man. The bad thing is that he immediately told my boss that I needed to remove the auto-reply.

“Corporate sees that, too,” my boss reminded me. “Besides,” he continued. “You should be answering e-mails as often as possible.”

Auto-reply killed. I still have the dinging alert and pop-up window turned off so that if I’m deep into a project so a forward of cute kittens and puppies won’t distract me from the task at hand.

Punching the Clock – Literally
OK, this was my bad. I had a hard time getting back on my sleep schedule after being on hiatus from what will be henceforth known as Two Weeks of Hell. I came in late twice last week (30 minutes late), prompting my boss to remind me that my hours are 8-5 and that’s important because I’m the only one in from 8-9 am.

“It’s not that big a deal,” Boss says. “Besides, next year we’ll probably be moving to a clock-in, clock-out system anyway.” Say what?!

Apparently, I’m not the only person appalled at the idea of having to physically clock in. A recent article described the rise of fingerprint clock systems as “creepy” and intrusive. Aside from being amazed at the level to which corporate America will stoop in its pointlessness, this throws a major wrench in my plans to work towards a remote working environment in my current job. What will be the point if once achieved a few months later I am forced to be present for clocking in?

This is presenteeism at it’s worst in my opinion. Perhaps I’m merely a product of my generation, but I don’t understand why my presence is necessary when I spend the whole day in front of the computer, interacting with no one outside of e-mail and the very occasional phone call.

Never one to admit defeat, however, I am prepared to regroup and figure out a work-around. Unfortunately, if these things are true at my present job, then it may be that my work-around is a new source of income. Which was sort of the point anyways. I wanted to pick the easier way, but it doesn’t look like it’s viable. In all fairness, Ferriss (author, “Four-Hour Work Week”) did say it was better to lose the corporate gig altogether, but hey, sometimes we have to leave our claw marks in what’s comfortable before we’ll give it up.

Good Work Life = Good Sex Life

Recently my career life has taken off in unexpected ways. I got a raise at work. My IT consultancy has a steady, dedicated customer, and plans for increasing the client base are going well. My blog site, WorkLoveLife.com, has skyrocketed within the past two weeks, with traffic increasing exponentially.

I was riding a huge wave, and suddenly I exuded confidence in a way I never have. My newfound success gave me a sense of poise that spilled over into other areas of my life. Why not upgrade to a nicer apartment on the beach when my lease is up in a month? I’ve earned it. Why not gun forward on that project at work? I know it will work.

Here’s a not-so-secretive secret about confidence. Not only does it dramatically increase your odds of getting what you want, but it does wonders for your sex life. Self-confidence is sexy. Someone who knows what she or he wants and goes after it is, well, hot. There are no two ways about it.

I read a blog recently about why you actually want to date a player (hat tip: HoneyAndLance). A lot of it has to do with self-confidence. I have to admit by the end of the post I realized that the guy I’ve been seeing is sort of a player. And I like it. I love that he’s confident, self-assured and comfortable in social situations.

I didn’t make the correlation between career and sexual confidence until recently. Given the number of deaths and illnesses in my life recently, let’s just say I haven’t exactly been feeling it. Something snapped on Saturday though. After looking at a fabulous 1-bedroom condo on the beach and deciding to take it, I was riding high. I went shopping and after realizing that all the running had paid off in the loss of both a jean size and a shirt size, I asked myself why I shouldn’t go all out on the weekly Saturday night dance-a-thon. Some cherry-red lipgloss and a new pair of jeans later, I knew I was looking good. More than that, I was feeling good. I was rocking it.

One problem. The guy I was seeing said earlier that day he wasn’t game for going out. Exuding a confidence he was unaccustomed to seeing in me, I messaged him: “You should reconsider. I’m looking pretty damn good tonight.” Some more flirty text messaging ensued (totally out-of-character for me), and before long I had him: “We’re on our way.”

Don’t feel too bad for him. He knew what I was up to from text message #1. That didn’t matter – what got him was the surprising new attitude I wore. It was clear that I knew what I wanted that night and that I went after it. It was a turn on, not just for him, but for me too. I wasn’t nervous, anxious, distracted, or busy trying to decipher whether or not he was thinking the same thing I was. I had my eyes on the prize.

The interesting thing is that I always thought that this wasn’t part of my make-up. That in order to be one of those sexy, confident women, I would have to act, play a part. The truth is nothing has come more naturally.

A warning here. It goes without saying that over-confidence is decidedly unsexy. Take it too far and you’ll come off arrogant, stuck-up, better-than or all of the above. Not hot.

Productivity Tip: Read All Your Books With Your Ears

I am an audiobibliophile, a lover of audio books. It didn’t always used to be this way. I used to be your average, run-of-the-mill book junkie. Then I ran out of time to read. So I did what any good junkie does – I adapted.

It started just a few months ago. While reading “Rich Woman,” I was turned on to the Rich Dad Poor Dad series. I enjoyed “Rich Woman” so much that I wanted to pick up something else. The problem was that with my job, my burgeoning entrepreneurial efforts and my newfound love of running eating up more and more of my time, I was losing time for reading.

I was also finding it difficult to concentrate and focus. If I tried reading at home, I would fall asleep (lame!). I couldn’t read on the treadmill (too much bounce). Finally, my vestige the coffee shop would eventually fail me, too, as I would find myself more interested in journaling, sketching business plans or working on the blog. My love, my passion was falling to the wayside.

Aside from reading for the sheer pleasure of it, I am a known neophile. I love new things – new activities, new places, new foods, and most importantly, new ideas. I’ve had a profound love of learning since I was little. I probably scared my parents half-dead when I announced at 16 that I planned to be a professional student. That didn’t happen per se, but I like to think of myself as a student of life, always willing to learn what life has to dish out.

All this stops if I can’t read. I must consume new ideas. It’s like oxygen. So, time-starved and apparently suffocating sometime in January, the audio book entered my life in a big way. I started small with “Retire Young, Retire Rich” by Robert Kiyosaki (another Rich Dad Poor Dad book). It was only three hours, but I figured, geez, how long do I really spend in the car? Apparently a lot of time. I finished that bad boy in three or four days. So I listened to it again to make sure I had absorbed it all.

From there, it spiraled. I have a friend who introduced me to audio books who listens to them too, so we swap them back and forth. Sometimes I just listen to the CDs, but sometimes I rip them into my library and put them on my iPod. Now I can read and jog at the same time. No problem.

This is an important productivity tool for me. I simply do not have the time I used to have to read, but I do have plenty of gaps in my schedule where I am not necessarily doing something that requires sustained intellectual effort, like driving or jogging. We cannot simply let the things we love drop off because we don’t have time for them anymore. We adapt, we change, and we learn to get both when seemingly given a choice between two options.

Tips for productively using audio books:
· Get non-fiction. This seems like a no-brainer to me. Unless you have absolutely no time for fiction and need it, then I suggest going on a strict non-fiction audio diet. Get your learn on.

· Get something you’re interested in, otherwise you’ll get bored. Instead of being invigorated by your audio experience, you’ll be snoozing. I’m a fan of quasi-inspirational material, like “Good to Great.”

· Take recommendations. If you have friends who have similar passions, pursuits, goals and/or tastes, hit them up for some suggestions. Remember, they don’t have to be recommendations for audio books.

· Borrow and buy used. Audio books are expense. I can sink $75 in one trip to Barnes & Noble on just two audio books. I like to swap with friends, buy used or at discount.

· Load it into your portable audio device. Putting it on my iPod allows me to pick up wherever I left off, whether in the car, on the treadmill or at the beach. You can actually download mp3s of books directly now.

· Convert your reading list. I have a lengthy book list. This might seem simple, but a lot of people forget. Just convert your “book list” to an “audio book list” and begin there. You’ll have that bad boy whipped in no time.

· Listen to it twice. I don’t always absorb it all the first time. Whenever our mind wanders when we are reading, our eyes will naturally go back and scan the sentence over again. That’s why sometimes we find that we’ve been reading one paragraph for 30 minutes. Our ears don’t do that.

Keep your ears peeled. You just might learn something.