For someone grieving, healing, and changing Life, balance is sought and achieved with acceptance of moments. Finding peace internally in each moment will help over all reach a balance in Life. I don’t think it’s trying to devote an appropriate amount of time and attention to different facets of Life. Live each moment.

I’m not saying don’t plan or schedule, but listen to Life, your love and mostly your true self (not the voice in your head). If you listen, you will feel more connected and in harmony with Life.

Experience and growing is what it’s about, not the order in which you list priorities.

Peace.

Holly, you aren’t alone. Sometimes the best you can do is just get everything in.

And I’ve decided that balance doesn’t exist. When you devote time to one thing, that’s time that can’t be devoted to anything else.

The trick is to be ok knowing that everything will get done….sooner or later.

From what I see, you are doing just fine. You just can’t be so hard on yourself (ahem, this is the pot calling the kettle black, btw. I know this is easier said than done.)

@steve errey: Thanks for the reminder. I do a lot of "shoulds" in my life when I need to just focus on what's working. The irony is that I don't think our relationship is in any danger. He hasn't said anything, anyway. I just worry that I'm weird & different & that it's going to create a problem or that he's unhappy. Another reader pointed out that I need to ask him. Hello! I haven't even asked him if he's OK with the amount of time we spend together. And you're right – whatever works for us, works for us.

Sometimes I think I am supposed to be balanced and so I do aim for it. I admit that there are days I feel just fine running around like a chicken with my head cut off. But too many in a row will literally cut me down. That’s when balance is needed, like you say, as a tool.

@stephanerd: “Heck, we have to force ourselves to eat and sleep, too. We’re just that into our work.” Me to a T! I actually have a daily checklist that among things like run, meditate, take out trash, includes things like breakfast, lunch, dinner, water… LOL. I have to schedule water. Luckily, I think he’s the kind of guy who can put up with that.

Passion is time-consuming. So, thanks for reminding me that I’m not a neurotic workaholic (necessarily) and that I’m not so different.

I can’t help it. Work doesn’t necessarily feel like work to me, and heading off to my computer every day is something I’m downright excited to do.

In addition, I feel that our busy schedules actually add to our relationship. Neither of us have ever wanted to be part of a couple that couldn’t function apart. And our limited time together means we always have so much to catch up on.

On the flip side, things were a bit ridiculous for a while there. We were like two ships passing in the night and, when it’s that extreme, it doesn’t make for a healthy relationship.

So I started scheduling once-a-week date nights, making sure our relationship was still a priority to the both of us. The fact that we have to schedule such things doesn’t phase us. Heck, we have to force ourselves to eat and sleep, too. We’re just that into our work.

Don’t beat yourself up for being passionate about what you do. You just need to find someone who can handle sharing that type of lifestyle with you. In the meantime, keep scheduling in small amounts of time together where you can spare it. Eventually, it will seem less like an obligation, and more like something you look forward to as much as your work.

I counted a fair few ‘shoulds‘ in this post, and falling into the trap of wondering how things should be, what you should be doing and how your priorities should look is only gonna make things spiral around even more.

I just love the idea of finding someone who makes me want to give things up to spend more time with them, but although the romantic in me wants that the realist in me thinks it’s more likely not to happen that way.

There’s no one answer, priorities change over time as do your feelings. What’s a priority for you this week might not be next week, next month or next year. What’s important is that you’re aware of what’s working and isn’t working based on what’s most important to you right now. The rest is just fluff.

One last thing – be careful not to look at ‘balance’ as an end in itself. It isn’t. Balance is a strategy you can employ as you go from one place to another, it’s not a destination.

But it’s tough to get in everything that you want to do, especially if you’re sleepy by 9:30 or 10 p.m.! It only convinces me more that there will never be a spot for children in my life. There are too many other things I want to do.

Let us know how it goes! We all struggle.