You're Not the Brand I Thought You Were, Starbucks
There’s something that rubs me wrong about what Starbucks is doing lately. It’s not just the elimination of stores; it’s the constant promotions, the discounts, the free samples, the waffling between light roast and dark. Every time I see a new article on Starbucks pop up in my reader, I cringe inside.
Starbucks has become the desperate guy. The desperate guy caught up in the clingy downward spiral.
I’m sorry, Starbucks, I’m simply not attracted to you anymore.
You see, there are guys who simply have no game. They tell you they’re in love with you on your third date, they text message you constantly, and they become even more insistent when you don’t want to spend so much time with them.
This is where Starbucks has gone. Their marketing department could learn a few things from studying a little pick-up.
First, they made themselves too available. This is Dating 101, and perhaps it ought to be Marketing 101. With a Starbucks on every corner, the customer entered the OMG-I’m-so-in-love-with-you phase of spending all their time (and money) at their favorite addictive flavor-spot. And just like any extreme beginning of a relationship, the customer realized that they were spending too much time (and money) with Starbucks.
We just need some space, Starbucks. It’s not that I need to see other coffeehouses; I just need some time (and money) to myself… you know, to sort some things out.
What does Starbucks do? Promises you the world if you’ll come back, if you’ll be with me the way you used to be with me. Here – take some free frappucinos. I’ll give you Wi-Fi. I can change – see? A new roast! Please don’t leave me.
Ugh. Starbucks, you’re scaring me.
Suddenly, Starbucks is everywhere. On my TV, where it never was before. In my magazines. In my blogosphere. I’m surprised you aren’t following me on Twitter or MySpace to see who else I’m drinking… oh wait. You are.
I’m sorry, but you’re just not who I thought you were. You used to be so cool. You were there when I wanted you, but now you’re on every other interstate exit. You were above all that PR crap other brands get involved in. You had social status. A cup with logo clutched in my hand used to mean something before I saw every other person with one.
Take a tip from the dating world: Don’t make yourself so damned available. Have some confidence in your brand and stop trying to do whatever you think will please me.
That’s what made you so hot before – Podunk towns only had one or two locations and we would drive across the city to spend time (and money) with you. Now you’re up my ass. That is so not hot.
I hate coffee. I’ve been to Starbucks maybe five times, ever, and only because people with me took me there against my will.
I think the problem lies with the combination of availability and cool. When you’re on every street you lose your chance to be cool through being elusive or the talked about thing.
All the big fast food chains do available well but they offer a simple promise. Starbucks tries to combine cool and chic with being everywhere.
Then there is the whole thing about how there coffee…ya know…tastes like complete garbage. Dunkin Donuts FTW!
I’ve always believed that decentralization is an essential key in future innovation with coffee houses. Let’s stop with the whole idea where you product must taste the same way across the country. Instead, allow franchise owners (or local managers in the case of Starbucks) to do what they want and to adapt to the local culture. Innovation doesn’t come from management meetings in an ivory tower, it comes from the people on the ground.
Holly, I need to start my own blog!
Louis
@honey: Ohhhh, you’re one of those. That’s OK, you can still read my blog. J/K! Seriously, the past two guys I’ve dated hate coffee. How do I keep ending up with these jokers??
@greig: You’re absolutely right! The original core of Starbucks customers used to be about the quality & the atmosphere. Now they are in the minority. You can’t be known for cool & chic while serving incorrectly-named drinks to people who used to get their coffee at the gas station. (Caramel macchiato?! A macchiato is a shot of espresso with a little bit of foam, not an f*ing caramel latte!)
@norcross: You know, I remember when Starbucks used to taste good. When they had real espresso machines & not push-button operations. ::sigh::
@Louis: Now here’s a man who knows his coffee! (And trained me to make the world’s best macchiato… but I’m not biased.) I agree 100% – yes, all your frappucinos can taste the exact same, but perhaps the McDonald method is not the answer if you’re trying to go with the whole “cafe culture” thing. After all, coffeehouses are (or used to be until Starbucks ruined it) known as places of counterculture ruling in the majority. You’re right, Louis, what works for a NYC Starbucks might not work for a south Texas Starbucks. You know, I actually saw a barista sporing “flair” at my local location? Are you f*ing kidding me?
Holly, just to give Starbucks the benefit of the doubt, macchiato in Italian means “stained”. So you can have two different types of macchiatos: 1) espresso “stained” with a bit of milk, or 2) milk “stained” with a bit of espresso. Starbucks does the 2nd one and totally f**ks it up with caramel.
Haha, Holly! Now, tea. I LOOOOVE tea.
“You had social status. A cup with logo clutched in my hand used to mean something before I saw every other person with one.”
What did it mean?
Personally, I think you should dump Starbucks completely. As far as I’m concerned, going to Starbucks is like going to WalMart, and both are sort of like kicking mom and pop in the nuts. If I’m going to spend my money on a three dollar latte (or even a dollar sixty five americano), I’d much rather find a locally owned shop so that my money stays in the community.
If you’re just going to Starbucks show off your social status and not because you love their “coffee,” find a new reason. There are independently owned shops out there (without seemingly infinite resources) that could use your support.
I don’t mean any offense, I just feel really strongly about Starbucks Vs. Independents, and I’d like to hear about why you like Starbucks so much.
Ugh, I think of Starbucks the same way as I think of Match.com. Bloated, lame, mediocre product, no personality. I HATE Starbucks. And I love coffee.
Seriously, does anyone else think that Starbucks coffee tastes like ass? PLEASE, if you’re going to charge me $4 for a coffee, at least make it taste not like ass.
I drink Community Coffee that I order online, and in a pinch I drink Dunkin Donuts. Hey, don’t hate. Their shit is the bomb.
Hi Holly,
For the last few months I’ve been on a one-woman anti-Starbucks mission. I’ve told all my friends that I will drink anywhere other than SBs…and it’s all because I hate this mass globalisation. My hatred started when I stumbled on a Starbucks in the middle of the Forbidden City in Beijing. The outlet in question is no longer operating.
My (boy)friend takes great delight in SMSing me every time he goes out for a Starbucks…but he isn’t entirely unsensitive – when he bought me a frap at the airport last week, he wrapped it in newspaper to disguise where he’d got it…but the green straw was such a giveaway!
Hannah (over in Singapore)
I distinctly remember a trip to New York city where I was just leaving a Starbucks, looked to my left and saw a Starbucks across the street on the next block, looked right and saw a Starbucks also a block away. Ugh.
Starbucks case @
http://brandforthought.blogspot.com/