How I Asked for a Raise in a Down Economy – And Got It

First, let me admit that I talked about asking for a raise for about two months before I finally got the cojones to actually do it. But that’s sort of how I operate. I like to think I’m improving though.

It all started back around the end of December when I decided I wanted to buy a house. I got in touch with a friend of a friend who is a mortgage broker and we went over my financials.

Mortgage broker: ‘Holly, your DTI [debt-to-income ratio] is simply too high. You do not spend frivolously. I do not see how you could lower your debt much either. You simply do not make enough. Can you ask for a raise?’
Me: ‘Oh, yeah. Let me just go run and ask my boss for a raise and say my mortgage broker said I need it. That’s what I’ve been waiting for.’

I spent a good few weeks feeling hopeless, dejected and trying to figure out how to lower my debt, assuming that a raise was out of the question. As I struggled to find ways to lower my debt, I became frustrated and began to wonder just how little I made... Less than most dental hygenists it turned out. Less than the lower 10 percent of my profession in my state it turned out. Talk about a heightened sense of frustration.

From there I timidly started throwing out the idea to my closest friends: “I’m thinking about asking for a raise,” I’d say casually. And, seeing as I have the best friends in the whole world, all of them said, “Right on! You should! You deserve more!” Thanks, guys.

Then, I told two of my accountability partners. “I’m doing it on Monday,” I swore to my self-imposed bullshit-callers. Then, Monday evening I had to explain to them why I didn’t. A dozen lame excuses later, I realized the only one who was suffering bad pay was me.

I did a little bit of research online, but honestly unless you’ve never asked for a raise before, don’t really have a valid reason to do so, or don’t have a parent or mentor to explain it to you, then this is a waste of time. I didn’t learn anything I didn’t already know, and all it did was give me a way to put off what I didn’t want to do. So one morning, armed with notes and government labor statistics, I meekly asked my boss if he had a minute.

I opened the conversation with a comment on not really knowing how raises worked (not quite true – I was very familiar with my company’s policies, which I highly recommend you know before going in), but that I had passed my six-month mark with no evaluation. He replied that raises usually came at the one year mark and in the form of 2-3 percent. Was this what I was looking for, he asked. Well, I replied, I was looking for something a little more substantial and pointed out the industry and market stats I had (briefly and in one easy sentence – no one wants to hear your research paper on the subject). He said he wasn’t sure what he could do, but that I was definitely on track for the small yearly bump.

Rejection. I went in the office bathroom and forced myself to suck back the tears. You’re a grown-up, for crying out loud, I told myself, and hey, at least you asked. Time to look for a new job, I thought. Bummer. I like my job, but nothing will stand in the way of me achieving my own home.

Imagine my surprise two days later when my boss asks me if I have a minute. Here’s what I’ll do for you, he says. Something close to the sum I was hoping for, plus my yearly bump when I get there. Hurrah! Take that soft economy and you financial naysayers! I visited the bathroom again, this time to do a little dance.

So what it did it really take to get my raise? The balls to ask for it. Show up and suit up, and stuff happens. Not showing up because you’re assuming you’ll lose is ridiculous. Know what you want, know what you’re worth and ask for it, politely and informed, and be prepared for one of three answers: yes, no or maybe. You don't have to demand or threaten to quit. The worst that can happen is they say no or I don’t know. Hey, I’ve been there and it’s still worth it.

No harm in asking.