From Derailed to Steaming Ahead
Through a combination of events, some of them brought on by my own self and some of them acts of god, my life has completely and totally derailed in the past week. I mean, we’re talking wrapped-around-a-garbage-can, laying-on-the-floor, we-might-need-to-go-the-emergency-room derailed. Part of this was shock from the loss of my friend, but part of it was also that I was simply pushing myself way too hard.
The Problem
My philosophy in life is to get out of the problem and into the solution. With the funeral behind me this morning and a still-full schedule ahead of me, I made an internal decision to get with the program today. After all, the apartment is unbelievably gross right now, laundry is unwashed, food spoiling in the fridge… it’s all I could do to wake up and zombie-walk myself to where I’m supposed to be at any given hour this past week. But into the solution, right?
If you’ve got a full schedule and you’re derailed, how do you get back on track? It can be difficult when you run a tight schedule to catch up on the things you missed and keep up the pace you’re used to operating at. After all, you’ve pretty much just been bombed. Now that the shock has worn off, you have time to survey the debris.
The Solution
So, that’s where I start. The apartment needs to be cleaned, the laundry done, the dishes put away and the fridge cleaned out and restocked (oh yeah, we’ve forgotten to eat haven’t we?). The car needs the oil changed and the tires rotated. I need two new pairs of jeans and new running shoes. Oh crap, I forgot to pay the electric. Clearly, this is going to take a few hours. I don’t have a few hours. I don’t have a half-hour, for crying out loud.
I wish I could say I had a magical solution, some brilliant piece of wisdom you’d never in a million years think of. But I don’t. And that’s unfortunate for both of us. Because my answer is to take half of Friday, the day I was supposed to be in Austin for South by Southwest with my best friend from NYC who I haven’t seen in a year, and get all this crap done. It sucks, but that’s all there is to it.
‘Be Excellent to Each Another’
Oh, the wisdom of Bill and Ted… The fact of the matter is I can’t get back on track after something like this without taking the time to be good to myself. I’ve been treating my body like crap this week. I haven’t eaten right; I haven’t jogged, done yoga or slept. I am in debt. I cannot simply go back to cash; I have to pay off my deficit first or my body’s interest will compound. And bad health debt has a high rate – 20% at least. It doesn’t take long for it to get out of control.
Buddhists say the definition of suffering is the desire to be anywhere other than where you are. I wish this hadn’t happened, I wish my little life hadn’t been bombed, but it has. Now it’s time to pick up the pieces, rebuild and move forward. Hopefully, life will balance out again soon. It’s just going to take some patience with myself and a little time to be good to myself again.
Survey. Respond. Rebuild.
