Are Schedules Made for Breaking?
I recently got a question from a reader and responded to it. It clarifies some of my thoughts related to relationships, ambition and organization, so I thought I would share it here.
Question:
"Just curious, are you secretly one day hoping for some man of your dreams character to come along and throw you off your schedule and change your life? Or do you ever feel like maybe you're organizing your life too much? I'm not saying you are, but a lot of the blog is organizing your life, and though you're not there now, it seems like you might progressively become a schedule book. Sometimes I want to become a schedule book, but just so I can break out of it."
Answer:
"Hmm... No, I don't secretly want a man to throw me off my path. As a matter of fact, the past few months I've become rather relationship phobic. I would say that I'm afraid someone will throw me off, but I'm not afraid of it because I know I wouldn't let it happen.
I schedule my time, but I schedule it so that I can fit in all the things that I love doing. When I was doing it without a schedule, I felt crazed and time-starved constantly. The fun things were falling to the wayside because I was running around distracted.
I leave big gaps in my schedule. Sunday, for example, has just a few items: run, write blogs, post blog. None of them have set times, it's more a loose to-do list. I fully intend to spend most of that day on the beach with my iPod, some Jack Johnson and a book (which will probably be used more as a pillow than for reading). And I shall eat strawberries and wonder what the poor people are doing (i.e. people in snow, not near water, etc.).
I understand what you mean though. I used to come up with schedules in college just so I could rebel against them - it made me feel spontaneous to be at Wal-Mart buying hula hoops at 1 am when I should have been writing my Vonnegut paper.
That you would consider someone to be rescuing you from your scheduled self makes me think that you don't enjoy schedules in the first place. Some people work well with highly-organized agendas, like me. I'm a terribly disorganized person in reality (you should see my apartment), so people marvel when they see my color-coded planner with my entire week neatly arranged.
Why? Because I couldn't freakin' remember to do ANY of it if I didn't do this. If I were naturally organized and prompt, I wouldn't need multiple alarm clocks, a color-coded organization system, and e-mail reminders. If I were a naturally focused person, I wouldn't need productivity methods. I am simply a person who knows 1. her weaknesses, and 2. what she needs to do to accomplish her goals.
Do I want someone to rescue me? No. Do I want someone to share my beach blanket and smile back when I wonder what the poor people are doing? Sure. Do I want someone to sympathize with me when I get done with an 18-hour day? Absolutely. But I want someone who respects me enough to know that what I do is important to me and who supports me in it, who believes that I can do it - not someone who wants to 'take me away from it all.'
I enjoy my life, so immensely. It's full, it's productive; readers (some friends, but mostly strangers) e-mail me and say what I'm writing is making a difference. That's why I do this. This is worth it to me. I wouldn't have it any other way."
Question:
"Just curious, are you secretly one day hoping for some man of your dreams character to come along and throw you off your schedule and change your life? Or do you ever feel like maybe you're organizing your life too much? I'm not saying you are, but a lot of the blog is organizing your life, and though you're not there now, it seems like you might progressively become a schedule book. Sometimes I want to become a schedule book, but just so I can break out of it."
Answer:
"Hmm... No, I don't secretly want a man to throw me off my path. As a matter of fact, the past few months I've become rather relationship phobic. I would say that I'm afraid someone will throw me off, but I'm not afraid of it because I know I wouldn't let it happen.
I schedule my time, but I schedule it so that I can fit in all the things that I love doing. When I was doing it without a schedule, I felt crazed and time-starved constantly. The fun things were falling to the wayside because I was running around distracted.
I leave big gaps in my schedule. Sunday, for example, has just a few items: run, write blogs, post blog. None of them have set times, it's more a loose to-do list. I fully intend to spend most of that day on the beach with my iPod, some Jack Johnson and a book (which will probably be used more as a pillow than for reading). And I shall eat strawberries and wonder what the poor people are doing (i.e. people in snow, not near water, etc.).
I understand what you mean though. I used to come up with schedules in college just so I could rebel against them - it made me feel spontaneous to be at Wal-Mart buying hula hoops at 1 am when I should have been writing my Vonnegut paper.
That you would consider someone to be rescuing you from your scheduled self makes me think that you don't enjoy schedules in the first place. Some people work well with highly-organized agendas, like me. I'm a terribly disorganized person in reality (you should see my apartment), so people marvel when they see my color-coded planner with my entire week neatly arranged.
Why? Because I couldn't freakin' remember to do ANY of it if I didn't do this. If I were naturally organized and prompt, I wouldn't need multiple alarm clocks, a color-coded organization system, and e-mail reminders. If I were a naturally focused person, I wouldn't need productivity methods. I am simply a person who knows 1. her weaknesses, and 2. what she needs to do to accomplish her goals.
Do I want someone to rescue me? No. Do I want someone to share my beach blanket and smile back when I wonder what the poor people are doing? Sure. Do I want someone to sympathize with me when I get done with an 18-hour day? Absolutely. But I want someone who respects me enough to know that what I do is important to me and who supports me in it, who believes that I can do it - not someone who wants to 'take me away from it all.'
I enjoy my life, so immensely. It's full, it's productive; readers (some friends, but mostly strangers) e-mail me and say what I'm writing is making a difference. That's why I do this. This is worth it to me. I wouldn't have it any other way."
Labels: goal-setting, life, love, relationships, work, work-life balance
posted by Holly Hoffman at
10:52 PM
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3 Comments:
Loved this post. It's definitely a fine line to walk. The reader's question is interesting, because I often feel conflicted between my schedule, and just enjoying time with friends, family, and finding "the one".
and another thing - do you mind if I link you on my blog?
thanks :)
@rebecca - Absolutely, it is a very fine line, one I often trip over. I also get caught up in whether or not I'm doing it the right way, but I try to figure out how to change "or" to "and." How can I have my schedule AND my friends, family, and love?
@a little bird - For sure! I would be honored.
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